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Other entries in Germany

What the hell are we doing in Erftstadt?

After three eventful days in Munich, we boarded a late morning train for Cologne where we would spend the next four (and our last) days in germany. i was really excited to get to Cologne for a few reasons. First, there was a world cup game being played in the city while we were there thus guaranteeing a festive atmosphere. Two, i had met a German from Cologne while i was in Panama at the beginning of my trip and we had kept in contact in order to meet up when we got to Germany. and Thirdly, we had booked an apartment instead of a hostel and i was looking forward to having a place of our own to cook and relax. The train ride over was mostly uneventful except that our boy Nova had just found what some would consider his reason for existing: the new Busta Rhymes album. Ive literally never seen this guy happier and this is coming from a witness who's seen how easily a plate full of dim sum, a comfy couch, a mothership, and NBA basketball can light up his life. listening to this album (four years in the making) put a perma-smile to this man's face. besides that, we arrived in Colonge sans event.

after disembarking, we set out in search of this place called Erftstadt. you see, because we had picked the best time to come to Germany, ie: during the World Cup, every hostel, inn, b&b, park bench and loving arms of a prostitute had been booked solid. the only remaining spaces--im sure left vacant by desperate souls needing their life savings back--were now listed at new years eve in vegas style prices. so to avoid all that overprices mumbo jumbo, we had booked ahead of time a small apartment equiped with kitchen, small living room, and ample resting spaces for our tired bums.
this apartment was located in Erftstadt, a community we had been led to believe was a short metro trip away from the city center of Cologne. so, with a destination in mind, we set out and before reaching the exit of the train station, realized we had no idea what we were doing. Adam remembered that he had a contact number and tried many times and failed many times while trying to operate that damn european phones (he had never seen a non-cell phone phone (kids these days, huh?)).
after a few failed attempts to reach our landlord, Hubert, a seemingly friendly woman using the phone next to adam held out the receiver to him with a smile. with an inquisitive look and a little doubt in his mind, adam took the phone and spoke into the receiver, "Hello....?" dialtone. oh man this lady is good! she was pulling international pranks! in reality though, we believed she knew there were still some minutes remaining on that phone and she tried to let us use them. either way, we dont speak german and her non-verbal communication is lacking.

we tried several more times unsuccessfully to reach Hubert so we thought the best plan of action would be to just show up in Erftstadt with an address and a name and go from there. flawless thinking in my opinion. we asked a few train station employees how to get to erftstadt and they informed us that it was about a 35 minute train ride out into the countryside. sweet. so we hoped back on a train and traveling outside of the city. i was kinda sad cause that meant it would be harder to meet up with my friend Sven (the German i met in Panama) and also we wouldnt be able to do so many Cologne-esqe things. but things brightened up as we reached our stop in Erftstadt: it started raining. we also disembarked to the knowledge that we really had zero idea of how to get to our destination. now there were no pay phones at this deserted train stop and no real city center to speak of. it was more like the train tracks ran along the outside a small suburban neighborhood with at most a few restaurants and a pub. but the evident size of the place encouraged us to believe that if we walked long enough (mind you with all of our gear), we would eventually find our street or at least someone who knew where to find it. again, brilliant thinking. to make matters more complicated and more difficult, it was a holiday or something because the entire town was deserted. we found not a single person walking around who could take pleasure in seeing three obvious foreigners trudging along in a light rain while struggling to carry their excess weight all the time hoping to fall upon the kindness of a stranger.

we walked one way, then backtracked when we discovered a sign saying we were exiting Erftstadt. on our way back down the street we came, we saw a man taking his garbage out to the curb. we quickened our pace with hopes that number one, he spoke english, and two he could give us some help with directions. we were maybe 10 feet away from him when we gave a friendly and exasperated "hello" but then all he did was acknowledge us with a nod and half smile, then turned towards his house without looking back. we stood in his driveway stupified at his seeming coldness. but we continued marching, hoping to find better luck. not much changed though as about 80 meters further along the road, i witnessed Aron leap into the air while yelping like a dog when you step on his tail. this is not something that my friend does normally so i was curious for the cause. he explained that he had been hit with a platic pellet fired out of an air pistol in a drive-by. sure enough, we had just been passed by a car with the driver's side window rolled down and as the car turned the corner in front of us, i noticed the culprit weilding a handgun and a shit-eating grin. what the hell was going on in this town? we had been here for maybe half an hour and already hated it. half the town was unfriendly, the other half was shooting at us.

now we were all beginning to regret our decision to save money and take a chance. i was feeling a bit of responsibility for this blunder as i was the one who found this option. as we continued to wander through the desolate neighborhood, we were constantly reminded of our stupidity when street sign after street sign failed to materialize into the street sign we wanted to see. we stumbled across a gas station and Aron spoke with the clerk and tried to communicate our dilemma. the clerk didnt know what to tell us. but, his teenage co-worker had heard of the name of our street but hadnt heard too many lessons in English so the conversation was a little broken. while aron was trying to save us from nomadhood, Nova and I took note of the many great deals the gas station had for beer (as we all enjoy beer because we're men and we all enjoy great deals because we're jewish). we found one case (24) of half liter bottles for 12 euros. thats a pretty good deal and we promised ourselves to return to purchase it.

with a set of verbal instructions in arons head, we set off again in search of our apartment. about 2 miles and one tired and bitching Nova later, we arrive at the destination the teenage gas station clerk was talking about, a strip mall. we all dump our bags and ourselves onto some benches and continue to bemoan our bad luck. i did a quick reconaissance and found a map in the mall. after a few minutes study, i found our street right next to one end of the mall. we were almost there! reenergized with hope, we set out one last time to find our home. as we approached our street, i made a joking comment about how due to the multitude of problems and setbacks we had endured so far that day, of course, our apartment wouldnt be anywhere close to the beginning of the street, in fact, i wouldnt be surprised if we started on house #1. i shouldnt have said anything and then at least we would have been surprised when the street actually did start on house #1. we were house #133. but whats a little more walking?

we get to the spot, find it not an apartment complex but an actual house. no one answers the door (of course) but the garage is open so we respectfully creep inside and holler a friendly hello. and then out came Hubert Icking. Hubert is a slender, medium sized man with small blue eyes hidden behind wireframed glasses. he had short spikey grey hair and a cautious smile that told us he was friendly but not to mess with him. the rest of the weekend, we never knew quite what to make of him. after introductions, he took us to our "apartment". more to the point, it was their newly remodeled basement which meant we were pretty much renting a room in their house. this was not what we had planned for. but he was very accomodating and helpful with our plans for visiting the city. he explained the rules for train travel and events going on for the world cup. his english was great but sometimes he would pause midsentence as if he were searching for the right word and then continue on using a very basic if not obvious to a 4th grader choice of word. this was the way he kept us on our toes all weekend; we were never sure if he was happy, annoyed, confused, angry, or indifferent towards us. he just seemed to tolerate our being there and didnt seem to take any pleasure or pain from our existence. but the set up was great and he attended to all of our household needs (laundry, internet, grocery store directions, etc).

the last thing Hubert did before he left us was introduce us to his 22 year old son, Christian. after some quick pleasantries, he asked us if we wanted him to drive us to the beer store. we replied with a quick but obvious answer. yes, Christian, we would like that.

(a lot more to come from this quiet, hidden gem of a town)

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