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Hải Phòng, Viet Nam
20° 51' N 106° 40' E
Mar 19, 2006 13:05
Distance 336km

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Other entries in Hải Phòng

Crazy Day

Text written in: English

well, it had been a while since we had a crazy day so murphy's law would say that we had it coming. the morning after we got back to Hanoi from Sa Pa, we went to the train station to get a ticket to the nearby coast to visit the World Heritage site that is Ha Long Bay. now, neither of us know what exactly a World Heritage site is, but we assumed it was beautiful and worth seeing. we passed up the chance to book a pre-planned tour from Hanoi that included all of the separate legs of the travel into one price because we wanted to do it our own way, at our own pace. this would later prove to be an issue.

we got to the train station and found almost no one working behind the counter. after waiting in line for a bit, we were redirected to another section that dealt with foreigners. this lady told us we had to go around the station (the to same entrance we had to take the overpriced taxi ride to the night we left for the North) and book a ticket there because that was the area that dealt with day-of travel. we walked around this time and found this ticketing area even more deserted than the first. the only people in there were a few drowsy citizens and two motobike drivers that had followed us into the building. as a general rule, we dont really give these guys the time of day because their chants of "motobike" echo in our ears constantly and we usually have no need for their service. this morning, however, we didnt really know what to do so i humored the man by telling him where we were going that day. he told me, in broken english, that we were at the wrong station and needed to ride his motobike to the other one to get tickets. this seemed suspect so we chose to say thank you and wait for an attendent. he lingered around for a while telling us the same thing over and over and pointing to a map thinking we didnt understand him. eventually, david, growing increasinly aggitated with his persistence, raised his voice and told him we werent interested. he said when we were, he'd be waiting outside. eventually we realized the only woman behind the glass windowed counter wasnt going to come back to work anytime soon so we said the name of our hopeful destination and she said the name of the other train station. the motobiker was right.

we went outside and thought we would just walk the 3 km to the station but found the motobike driver and decided to take our first spin on the two wheeled roller coaster. we employed him and his friend and were speeding through traffic in no time. i mentioned how crazy and chaotic driving in Bangkok was earlier but when youre holding onto the backend of a small motobike seat with the strength of your thighs, it becomes a whole lot crazier. the horn is used almost contantly. street signals do not apply to these guys. if you wanted to film an exciting chase scene full of dodges, sharp turns, squeezing through narrow passages, and imminent horrific crashes, just strap a camera to one of these drivers and your movie is made. after 10 exhilerating minutes on the back of this bike, and one eaten bug, we made it to the other station and started the process of getting our tickets. of course it was assumed that we couldnt do this ourselves, so the overeager motobike driver came into the station with us and literally pushed fatty aside to talk the lady through the routine process of selling train tickets. after the purchase, we used the same pair to get back to our hotel.

later that day, the train station was more hectic as the departure time approached. we piled our bags onto an elevated tree garden and bought two Bia Ha Nois while we waited. the man who sold me the beers was very old, probably 70, and had one of the most cheerful faces ive seen since arriving here in viet nam. there was an english speaking girl next to him who translated his interest in knowing where i was from. im sure he would have smiled no matter what my response and i felt an urge to want to communicate with this kindhearted man. since this was impossible, i simply smiled and walked away. while we were driking our drinks and splitting a delicious breakfast sandwich fatty had discovered, the same girl from the snack stand came up and clearly wanted to talk to me. she was eager and determined but her english was not that good. i talked with her for a little bit but found myself answering some of the same questions. im sure she intended to ask different ones but she simply didnt know the words. again, it sucks not being able to communicate. Universal translators, where are you!?!?

the train ride was peaceful and short. after 3 hours and a little journal writing, we slid into Hai Phong, a town up a short river inlet near the coast. we both were in desperate need of a bathroom and found one right outside the station gates. when we came out, an agitated, snarly woman shouted something at us and held out her hand. we had seen a sign indicated some charge for the bathroom so we handed her money. she looked at it and yelled something else and continued to hold her hand out. we didnt understand and pointed to the sign thinking we had paid the right amount. she maintained her loud tone and bellowed something else unintelligible. a man came over and helped the situation by telling us that we needed to pay more because we were foreigners. awesome. so we gave her more money but still didnt win her over like so many others. i found a 500 Dong (not very much even by Vietnamese standards) note on the ground that i thought she had dropped, picked it up and handed it to her. this set her off even more and she re-engaged her shouting and arm waving. so, shaken and distraught by the bizarre situation, i dropped the bill where i found it and we walked away. the man who had helped us with the bathroom blunder asked us where we were going and we told him. he informed us that the tickets to get off of the mainland to go to Cat Ba island were sold here at the station but we had to hurry. we wanted to drop our bags off and as a rule, usually dont take the first offer we get, so we thanked him and passed. i remember him shaking his head as we walked away.

Hai Phong was a happenin place. we could tell that not many Westerners grace its streets because more so than any other place we've been so far, we were celebrities. everyone, i mean everyone was stopping to look at this goofy foreign duo. by vietnamese standards, i am a walking giant and david is just a freak of nature because no one has hair tht gross like that. we passed an outdoor barber shop (5 or 6 swivel chairs set up along a brick wall with mirrors and barbers on either side of the seated customers) and it was like those high school movies where the hot girl walks through the halls in slow motion and people turn to look as she approaches. it was like a chain reaction and i could see the customers ask to be turned to look at the weirdos. david got several offers to cut his hair. we found a hotel at a good rate and set out to return to the station and get our boat tickets. of course, now the windows were closed and they were done selling for the day. remember kids, never ever trust strangers; they usually only want to save you the trouble of not being able to buy the tickets you need.

 so we decided the best idea was to walk to the docks and see if there were any options down there. the day was waning and we figured we only had at most an hour left to take care of this. as we walked down the main drag for the third time, we got a bunch the same stares and offers to cut davids hair. especially humerous times are when we walk past a group of chatting motobike drivers who congregate adn each try to lure you into a ride. as we approach, one of them will spot us and tell the rest of the crew so that as we get closer, all 8, 10, 15 of them are turned and looking at us. but its always smiles. so we found the docks with a little bit of help from a townsperson and it was surprisingly easy to book a ticket for the ride in the morning. so, disaster averted, we were on our way back to the hotel to shower, get a massage, and eat dinner.

but as usual, distractions arose that prevented us from completing our tasks in a timely fashion. but this is what i love about traveling: your only concern is getting to where you want to be, after that, you look for whatever is interesting and do what seems to be the most fun. this time, it was joining 3 Vietnamese young adults as they played with a soccer ball. as we passed and were watching them kick it around, one of them waved at us and motioned for us to come in to the compound. we shrugged our shoulders and said sure. so for a bit we just passed the ball around and occasionally tried some kick tricks but as we were doing all this, a crowd was gathering. remember, we are celebrities so anytime a celebrity stops whatever important thing he or she is doing to play soccer with the locals, this is a big deal. the tv crew showed up later. when we had a small gathering, one of the onlookers said something to the rest of the vietnamese players and we formed a 3 on 3 game. david and i had been walking in sandles so we had to play barefoot (which is only a problem for my mother). remember, vietnamese: not great at soccer. also note, david and noah: not great at soccer. so it was an error filled game but also packed with lots of laughs and excessive cheering when a goal was finally scored. some silent occurance signaled the end of the game and we bid goodbye to our friends and went home to shower.

 ok, Asian massage. refer to earlier entry re: brothels. this "business" was located across from our hotel so it was the obvious choice for our desired body massage. we went in with complete honest intentions; we were tired, had just played a game of intense high kicking asian soccer, had been walking and hiking a lot, and needed a professional to get us back to normal. the intentions of the employees, did not appear to be so honest. we were greeted warmly and eagerly. i think i remember a madame looking woman grabbing my arm and pulling me in different directions. we paid for our hour massage ($5/hour) and were each escorted to different private rooms and were joined shortly by a comfortably dressed young vietnamese woman. david and i later discussed our different experiences so i can assure you, what i will describe was almost universal. my masseuse spoke no english so all communication was short and accompanied by hand gestures. i was to sit in a personal sauna for a while, then shower before re-entering the small massage room. i learned this because when i came out unshowered, i was shouted at. so i re-emerged wearing only my pants as she had demanded i remove my shirt at the beginning and i was a little nervous since this clearly seemed to be front for a house of prostitution. the room was dimly lit with pink and purple florescent lights, the massage bed was covered with while silk sheets and a flowery pillow. next to it were some teddy bears and extra towels. at the foot of the bed, an illuminated aquarium gurgled and its inhabitants watched the events unfold. across from the bed was a large tv on which the masseuse had started a string of music videos, all of which made little sense to me. the thai massage began as any thai massage should with her beating this shit out of my legs. this being the second thai massage ive gotten in asia, i somewhat knew what to expect but this one turned out to be much more intense and painful. there were times when i wanted it to end immediately because this devil woman was tearing the skin from my body. i was also a bit disappointed that i didnt get her full attention beause she was watching tv the whole time. so after an hour of painful but stress releasing torture, she patted me on the back and it was over. then she extened her hand with so much familiarity and whimpered when i gave her only a third of what it cost for the massage. i thanked her and left to wait in the lobby until fatty emerged with an awkward smile. we both were excited to discuss how weird of an experience that was so we exchanged stories and were both clearly put off by the situation. david said his girl had been very "forward" with her techniques as if trying to illicit a response from him that might lead to something more. he also said that she stood in front of the door until he gave her the tip she wanted. he wasnt able to get out of there quite as inexpensively as i was; he had to tip more than the initial price of hte massage for her to relinquish the door handle. more details were discussed over dinner.

after dinner, we went to the supermarket to buy some alcohol and david, despite losing the coin toss that decided what liquor we would buy, still decided to purchase some horrible scorpion and ginsing distilled liquor. we returned to our hotel to get ready to go out and ended up drinking while watching a good amount of Barber Shop 2. i had previously written this and its prequel off as being unworthy of watching but i was wrong. this is pure comical genius and im going to buy both when i get back to the states, probably before i call my mom. when the movie was over (we couldnt pull oursevles away), we went in search of a bar. we found everything closed until we decided to follow a search light and see what that offered. it wasnt a long search as it ended about 100 yards from where it started and we found the only club in the city. we walked into madness.

Up some short steps and down a poorly lit tunnel and out the other end into an array of dancing lights and blaring music. We were sheperded by some men and women wearing orange jump suits ala the Beastie Boys Tokyo subway music video into tall chairs at the back of a massive dance room. All around us were excited Vietnamese girating and drinking bottles of Carlsburg. We got a few of the same beers and sat back to watch the craziness unfold. Few people were on the dance floor; most were focused on the strategicly positioned dancers loosely holding on to poles and waving their bodies back and forth like a stalk of wheat in fast forward. The most intense among them was a bare-midriff toting, bleach-blonde hair sporting, male dancer who seemed to be auditioning for D-A-N-C-E-360. Soon, we were greeted by some friendly gentlemen who dragged us out of our watch-tower and onto the dance floor. Being a little inhebriated and with the realization that no matter how bad we were, these other guys were probably worse, we took that dance floor in stride. We pulled out all sorts of moves (the go-go, the monkey, the lawnmower, and plain ole gettin' jiggy with it); it should go without saying (but I feel it necessary for the Canadians out there), but the vietnamese were blown away with our talent. When we got the feeling that some of the guys sharing the dance floor were doing more than just takign notes with their eyes, we quickly left. It was an interesting snapshot of the young vietnamese lifestyle. After a long day filled with excitement, we retired to safety of our hotel room to laugh our asses off.