Hanoi, Viet Nam
21° 1' N 105° 50' E
Mar 14, 2006 14:39
Distance 989km

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First Impressions of a Communist Country

Text written in: English

Oh you've got to love the Communists. They just make everyone smile. We were in Viet Nam for no more than 2 hours and already felt taken advantage of.

we arrived from Bangkok late at night, which neither david nor i like doing because it seriously restricts our ability to make sound and competitive decisions. the airport was less strict than either of us expected but there were the fun and exciting red backdropped gold stars everywhere we looked. i changed some money and became a millionaire thanks to the 16,000 to 1 exchage rate. awesome. we elected to take a joint minibus to the city instead of an individual taxi for the cheaper cost and the experience of traveling with the Vietnamese. Our driver didnt ask for the address of our hostel so we just assumed that question was coming. after he dropped off all of the other passengers (all of whom spoke vietnamese) he asked for our address and then told us it would be an additional $1 for each of us to take us the rest of the way. we argued pointing out that we had already paid and he remained silent on the subject after that. but then he got on his cell phone and started talking to someone, apparently a friend of his that we later picked up along the way. having two Vietnamese men in the front of a minibus while david and i sat in the back clutching our backpacks like timid mice made me start thinking that all of this could go horribly wrong. what were they talking about? were they going to turn on us with a gun or a knife and demand our money and then kick us out onto the cold, unpredictable streets of this foreing city? all these thoughts raced through my head while we approached an area that i recognized from reading our travel book. with every moment we were getting closer to our destination, my tension was easing. when the minibus stopped, the door slid open and a man speaking perfect english appeared and vocally represented the hostel we were going to. he asked us if we had reservations, we didnt, and then told us that the hotel was full but that they had two and we could go to the other one and stay there. we had heard this before; just pick a different city. we said great but asked to speak to the reception of this hotel that looked nothing like the description in the book. they didnt like this idea but we were persistent so when we were taking our bags from the van and all the assembled men from the minibus/hotel party were discussing our movements, another man emerged from the hotel, again not wearing anything hotel related but still saying he worked there, and told us the same story that it was booked solid. after all this commotion and with the contributing fatigue, we acquiesced and were taken over to this new hotel by the original door opening man. this new hotel was nice, had one hour's free internet per day, hot showers, warm blankets, was in the same neighborhood and was a very reasonable price ($8 per night). so we were content with the change, just not with the method in which it happened. the scam was basically designed only to redirect the flow of the foreingers money. it wasnt outright malicious, just underhanded. and we totally got them back by using way more than one hour a day on the internet. suckers!

in the morning, after reviewing what there was to do in Hanoi, we decided that our original estimate of "not to much" was accurate. so we elected to make it a walking day of exploration. first on the list was breakfast so we walked until our noses chose for us. we found a place on a bustling street corner that was packed with locals and even had patio (sidewalk) seating (plastic 6" stools). we waited to be pointed at to order and then went up to the array of possible ingredients and using hand gestures and pointing, i was able to pick out a dish of steamed white rice with sliced chicken chunks, dried meat pieces, with sauce and seasoning. as we sat waiting for them to prepare it, something bizarre and yet unexplained happened. all of a sudden, a woman up the street yelled something and the owners of our shop went into action. they came out to the sidewalk and started shouting something that i heard as "prease" thinking "please" while also motioning for us to move inside. within seconds, the sidewalk was clear of all customers and the colorful plastic mini-seats. i thought they had just cleared some room indoors and invited us to bask in the warmth of the cooking. but after a few more minutes, someon made the vietnamese old woman cook equivalent of "all clear" and we returned to our original places. david and i discussed what had just happened and he said when the alarm had been sounded, he heard "police", which would make all of this make more sense. but we saw nothing and no police came into the shop so after all that, we dont really know what happened. but a terrific and exciting first meal in Vietnam.

from there we made our way clumsily over to a nearby lake with a small temple monument dedicated to a previous ruler. As Vietnamese lore would have it, this ancient ruler was given a magical sword from a mammoth tortoise from this lake that helped him defeat the current Vietnamese enemy at the time. after using this super sword, the tortoise demanded it and the ruler obliged dropping it into his mouth and watching it sink into the depths of the water never to be seen again. people still believe the sword is somewhere in the lake. silly communists. anyway, we were heading to the island temple in the middle of the lake when we saw another unusual site. a father was helping his child, presumably a girl, relieve herself into a planted tree on the park sidewalk. he was holding her in a leaning back position like she was ascending the first giant slope of a roller coaster and there was a steady shiny stream shooting out of her bottom area. and she had a very pleasant look on her face. trust me, im taking notes over here. fantastic stuff. the island temple was nice but nothing special. it was interesting however that they decorate this small palace as though it were a religious temple. the ruler's image is glorified everywhere as though he was Buddah himself. many people passing through were bowing towards and lighting insence for him. off to the side was a life size stuffed tortoise and then pictures of actualy ones. these things really are massive.

from there we decided to trek to the Air Force Museum where it was written that there were decomissioned jetse and planes that you could sit in and pretend you were flying. sounded cool to the these two chilren. it was a good distance away but we still wanted to walk just to get a feel for the city. Hanoi is actually a nice place asthetically with a lot of French inspired architecture and city planning. they have lots of parks and wide streets with plenty of green and trees. however, many of the sidewalks are cluttered with overspill from stalls and shops so pedestrians are often forced to walk in the street right next to speeding cars and motorbikes. Motorbikes by far outnumber cars probably 10 to 1. they usually dont pay attention to street signs or rules meaning they dont wait for a light (presuming there is one) and they can be found going the wrong direction on the road. if you as a pedestrian are trying to cross the road, you might not have the luxury of a crossing so you are forced to brave the racing river of bikers and hope they avoid you. we had been warned of this by people we had met and were expecting chaos but instead found a method to the madness. you look both ways before starting, then you step out and keep a steady pace while looking at the oncoming bikers and adjust your speed while reading their movements. its really not as hard as it seems and we havent gotten clipped yet. but it definitely is an adrenaline rush to cross a 6-lane road in the middle of rush hour thinking at any moment, any of the thousand passing motorbikes could run you over and cut short our precious little field trip pretty damn quick. so after about 1.5 hours of walking, we made it to the air force museum and stepped up to the ticket booth to find an AK-47 toting Communist guard sitting inside clearly not expecting anyone to come by. he looked confused when we tried to hand him money and then came out of his guard post and pointed to a sign. it said that the museum had been under construction from March 2005 and was currently unavailible for viewing. super sweet. i tried to take a picture of what could have been but the Mr. Pinko wouldnt allow it, but i snuck one anyway. we took a taxi home.

that night we went to a popular Hanoi event: a Water Puppet Theater. we showed up right at show time and found that the second class seats were sold out and we either had to come back for a later show or had to buy first class seats. the difference in price was a dollar. so we bought the elitist seating and because we were so late, got put right in the front row. as the show began, a little French boy seated on his mothers lap beside me, probably 4 years old, started making lots of noise and offensive gestures in the form of pointing at my face and shouting. i quickly responded by throwing him into the water. when he had dried off, i discovered that in fact, he just wanted to sit in my seat by himeslf instead of on his mothers lap. and since there was an empty seat on the other side of Fatty, i saw no reason why i shouldnt move over. but we then proceeded to have a vicious arm rest battle. the puppet show was pretty cool and included an orchestra of traditional vietnamese musicians and many colorfully decorated puppets of varying designs. the procession of acts covered a wide range and utilized many different animals and characters. overall it was kinda hokey but worth doing. what was more impressive for me was how they were able to have such control over these puppets that were dancing on the water. it was a unique thing to witness. after the show we ate and then went to bed. Vietnamese food is good.

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Photos / videos of "First Impressions of a Communist Country":

government building, dont take pictures david, motorbikes, train closed air force museum, bummer Mural in Hanoi imitation Indigenous vietnamese communal house Water Puppet Theater Water Puppet Theater
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