Calgary, Canada
51° 4' N 114° 5' W
Jun 09, 2006 03:01
Distance 0km

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earlier Entry 88 of 112 later
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way too fast

Text written in: English

Sometimes I don't like the fact I rush things and make what I can do best a bad job...that's what happened when I thought I was almost done...haha. not the case. instead..I found more things I have to deal with and will take me sometime to figure it all out. how nice sometimes I get sidetracked and I am unable to flesh out what is suppose to happen. grr...I need to practice this..fast but good. quick yet decent. nice but not slow...

It's only been 3 days and I feel a tinge of uneasiness...seems I am quite attach to things I am fond of and I am struggling with detachment. I thought I would never feel this way as I always yearn for new experiences and adventures..and in a way I should. I know that when I do get stuck I will regret all the lost time I could have done other things..I can rationalize and see that I have much to see..discover..uncover..but it is not so easy when there are tradeoffs to both situations. I just don't know which tradeoff is worth more (or less). What I know is that there are certain things in life when you know it is appropriate for that age..once you age changes, people start judging your accomplishments, experiences, certificates, awards, travels...it becomes your life slate and the more the better. not sure how much more I want..but it sure looks impressive when you can mark it and say you did it.

I guess I still have lots to try in some sense. like more extreme things that I have to prepare my body for..I think my mind is now settled (as what a defence is for). I know what I am aiming for mentally and know what it takes to achive things in speech and on paper. But can I transfer this so-called exceptional skill to something else? It was a wake up call when I saw myself treating the person I should value the most in the most lazy way. THIS is a disappointing...and I only realize now how I am really that person that must change.

Starting tomorrow..

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earlier Entry 88 of 112 later
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