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Off to central TO

it's quite a week as I have bumming at home finishng off my documentation for posting of the famous MDP. The book cost $10...so it's worth something. I wonder how much I can sell it for as price is not always related to cost..

I talk to my mom about issues and I realize..I can not escape. No matter how hard I try to avoid and not do what is not required..at times, I am sad at the lost cause I see myself in. Is it worth it to have someone that will hold my hand? probably..if I love him that much. it's worth it yet it become the barrier..the lesser motivating factor that just fall down and eventually breaks to pieces I can not put back together..whatever the cost, I must try to modify and make myself the fake one now. THIS is the way to only go if content and truth is to come out...and in the end..I do not ever think it will come out until I ask the direct question. But this is a question of timing...when will it be the right time? when will I see myself free from the miseries of chinese culture, traditions, fads and sorry promises that do not meet your standards.

cynical. hypocritical. confused. a story can be told in fiction form...=D

Off to the airport in 30min. my sister's bf should be here if he listens well. heehee...Angela?

Got an email from one of the closer calgary friends..and realize things will happen eventually as an event occurs outside the norm of things. relationships. you only realize it's worse or better till u try another. or something happens that you know can not be healthy in something that should be honest, true, and without doubt. I learned this the hard way..and sometimes I regret it...but there is an evil side that still thanks him to this day for making me realize how stupid I really am.

I can get blinded by things that are not taught and emotionally attached. and becoming free

before meeting him

is the best thing right now.

^_^

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