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the ways of someone that I trust...

it has become quite apparent that my troubles of thoughts I can not take out of my head just lingers as I sit and wait. why am I just waiting around this time? and I become more needy than when I greatly valued my independence for so long...it had never occurred how I much I care so much..when these things are always temporary and every moment I have I am running out every day. I feel like a loser not calling on my friends and seeing where they are..or going out every night to hang out. I don't know..it's all empty this time around as I have still much work to and I don't even know my own family to start with. yeah...it's sad and I'm stuck facing the idea that the ultimate can happen to me when it is said it can not. what am I suppose to believe?

the sadness of real life hits me when I am alone. but I am free from the imposing redicule that haunts me to this day...

wedding are always fun..except when everything is behind schedule. I guess I get the meaning of stress factor..as the Chinese culture makes us do things that are not so fun..that's what I found. but other than that..free for all and happy happy =) They actually remember me! heehee..wow. that was one my first friends wedding and another one late summer..I wonder what could occur now as things become more fuzzy..and I am unsure of how long D will work.

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