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now I know how it feels like...
we have been far away before but it was always temporary and we still manage to talk online..now..guess it's harder since there is too many things to do still..it's like losing a really good friend and though it was only a few years..I already feel how someone u talk to all the time can fill so much of my life.
On the other hand, it is a good thing since there is SO MUCH more I need to do..it's kinda hard to see what I really want in such a young age and I know I will regret if I didn't try it. I hope I get the guts soon as I start challenge myself outside the box..I really need to do that when I get back to Vancouver. and really work hard..it's so nice to know there is someone looking out for me and I am thankful for that everyday. If only I can overcome the feeling of not belonging..and try to put more effort into something meaningful in life.
yesterday was pretty good day..though I shop for more stuff to bring home! how did I manage to do that? grr..yah. got these nice shoes..want to get really cool hiking shoes but got to go find it..maybe today?? if the thing is not there..after..went to clean up and nap in the afternoon..tutor more english..coffee shop at Higher Ground in Kensignton. It was nice to talk to friends..and discuss various issues that impact our lives. I was like that too..but now I understand how you can turn inwards once your other half comes to your life. You literally stop looking. stop communication and be in your own little world. I can see why one can fall easily in a trap like that. if only I know what to expect..
though the future is something that keeps me going..since it is UNKNOWN, the past is also something i look back upon. though I feel my past has been wiped several times (by my hard drive), I can never forget all those good and crazy times I have had..I hope to keep challenging myself in finding what I am really looking for and not to regret or waste any time i have. I need to do things differently for once.
christians are really friendly people..I am feeling that conversion is not so bad. I wonder..is it the people I meet? am I just to uptight? maybe i should get back to such a routine...?? =P maybe my bad experience can not be used all the time.
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