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Other entries in Calgary

depressed at a depressing opportunity

well..I did get the call..yet it was not as expected. somehow I was thrown off by the unexpectedness..and it does not seem I really fit well. sounds like it's soo stressful and competitive. I want that..but with a guy thinking so down on me..not sure if I want to really go anymore. thanx for the opportunity. but even as a national head..not sure if I can stand someone in person. I have to say why I am going? why I can relocated? it's like..they can't believe I can rent anything or there is nothing I can do? ppl are so stuck up in the east that makes me sick..but if I can survive..impress the ass out of him..and then reject..that would feel sooo good. I wonder if I can though..I need his help this time to kick his ass. fuc ur ass because I'm going to show u how wrong u r and u r missing somthing that is so good. I can be as good as u if I know what u r looking for.

I can't wait till Friday. to show u what I can really do or not..then I will know how sad life is. err..I am getting frustrated. and really pissed. I get put down by someone i do not know. i feel like i was last choice and that makes me feel like full of shit. why is this so demeaning to me? it doesn't mean much..only work. something is wrong with me..I hate this. thank you. but I hate it.

Things to do:

Chap 2/4 - presentation, Chap 2/4 - writeup, CHAP 5, GIS project writeup and presentation, PT4 presentation, review Chap 1-5 finish by end of this week!! draft and notes/tables/figures..err.

lots to cram in this week.

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