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just married

just watched a show on Life Network..this bride take account of the day too much. sure..it is important but just a ceremony..she looked really stressed when it is a big deal..it's not as big as you make it to be. I wonder about that day few yrs down the road..I'm not sure if I actually am ready for it. sounds like I still got lots to do and see before I can settle down. I just need to make some money, invest, save up, learn mandarin/poker, then have a long world trip. this yr..across Canada!! =) my plan..i have lots of dreams and I don't want to be stuck in a reliance of someone who can not deliver. am I selfish? what is real love? am I capable of something so surreal..yet I should know my whole life? it comes to a point where I am not sure anymore. all I can do..do my own thing. not worry. and let it take a course.

i wonder if I will get it...? if I want it so bad..it would not come. but if I don't strive for it..will I ever have the chance to reach it?

finally..he is going to the chiro!! fuck it took so long. why does he not realize this? i think this adds additional stress..it's a tradeoff. i trade for something that I think could be better yet it is not. is it? or how can our values coincide with one another? sometimes it's hard to realize the difference in value and how it can not be recognized approopriately by what should be. err..i still have to be thankful since I will complain about something else. that's not good when I have so much to be grateful for. I just hope for the best and pray everything will be alright. thanks for the chances I am able to get.

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