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Floating villages breed football theives

At 6.30am, I awoke next to the horror that was Abbie much to my disgust, and stumbled back to my room to wake the lads up (it took about 5 minutes of banging on the door as loud as possible).  I felt pretty special after one and a half hours sleep safe in the knowledge we were going kayaking in a few hours.  We forced down some cheese sandwiches and transferred to a smaller boat which took us to a floating village from where we would go kayaking.  We all left our bags here while we went, including my football (which they would later try to steal).  As soon as they got hold of the football, the little kid got it out of its carry net and threw the net into the sea, meaning we had no way to carry to ball about from now on.  I could have strangled the little bastard.  The village also had a little school which was pretty cool to see and the kids were unbelievably cute.

We were all meant to go kayaking, but Brooke didnt go in the end as she said she didnt think the boats were safe, but the truth was that her ass was actually too big to fit into the boat!!!!!  Ha ha ha, that is no joke, she was huuuge!!  Thank the lord I got Ack as a partner and Al had to go with Abbie (the lazy twins only covered about half the distance of everyone else).  It was quite good fun as me and Ack got a good rhythm going and steamed ahead of the pack, kayaking through small caves and stuff, but unfortunately it only lasted about one and a half hours, when the itinerary said it should have been all morning...never mind eh.

When we got back to the floating village, we played a few games of pool and they pretended they had lost the football somehow, which made me pretty pissed off.  As we left though,I asked the guide to get it back for us and the people retrieved it from the inside of the roof....chav bastards!!!

Next stop was a cool beach where we had a seafood barbeque and lazed around for about 5 hours, all getting sunburnt in the process!  I got away pretty lightly with just a bit of burn on my cheeks and forehead cos i was in the water most of the time, but Al got burnt all oevr his shoulders and back, and Ack burnt his legs pretty badly much to my amusement.  Most of the time at the beach was spent playing volleyball or football in the water with a couple of giddy Vietnamese blokes and we had a good laugh.

After getting burnt to a crisp, we moved on to another small island with a beach called Monkey Island (because it has monkeys on it), and it was rammed with fit as fuck birds which was a nice little Brucie bonus, although the vast majority of them were there with blokes.   We went to see the monkeys and Al got a picture of one drinking a can of beer which was quite amusing and then we just lounged about on the beach again for about an hour, killing many ants in the process.  Me and Ack proved just how imature we are by killing a huge ant and building it its own tomb (a shell) and mausoleum surrounded by rice paddies and four holy peaks in the sand,complete with a cross on top.  The ant was named Tut-ant-khamun.  How funny are we?!?!

After getting a bit more burnt, we boarded the small boat again and headed off to Cat Ba sialnd for the night and checked in to our hotel.  It turned out to be quite nice and they had pool tables and a bar downstairs which was a bonus.  we played a bit of pool and had a few beers before heading off with the group for a seafood dinner yet again.  that was washed down with a few shandies and we decided to move on to a bar called the Koala Bar (obviously Aussie run).  Turns out it was happy hour when we arrived, so I proceeded to get blind drunk, with 12 Southern Comforts in one hour as well as a shot of snake whiskey.  This stuff is pretty cool as their is a dead snake rotting away in the bottle and you can actually see and taste the flesh when you drink it!!!!  Sounds disgusting, but it wasnt all that bad.....might have been something sto do with the Southern Comforts though?!?!

Purely by chance, we were joined in the Koala bar by Dean and Adam, the two guys from Oxford and a cockney geezer who we drank the snake whiskey with.  We played a bit of table football (which I was shocking at) and then I played against some girls at pool, but decided I would be really annoying and play snooker instead, just trying to snooker them with every shot, mainly because I couldnt focus on the balls further down the table!!

We eventually left the Koala bar in search of a club, but on arrival it was closed and they opened it just for us.  It was a tad weird to say the least, about a dozen travellers in a huge empty club, me dancing like a moron and Al dancing with a cardboard cut out!  Needless to say, we didnt stay too long and went insearch of another bar, only to find the most anbnoying American woman in the world who decided to tag along with us and try to be leader of the pack...fucking Yanks eh.  We couldnt hack her annoyingness any longer so we headed home at about 1.30am, hit the sack and forgot to set our alarm for the next morning! 

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