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Other entries in Kunming

table tennis disobedience

We arrived in Kunming on the train from Chongqing after 21 hours of sleeping/reading/i-poding (its a hard life).  Ackroyd awoke from his slumber on the train flipping about like a jellied eel shrieking as he was supposedly having a dream about a wasp attacking him (I think he was really thinking about the possibility of John Boy falling out with him)!!!  Caused much amusement for Alex and myself.  In the moments before we departed the train, I was just sat on my bed minding my own business when the woman on the bed opposite started eating fruit and squirting the juice in my face with every bite and showing no remorse!!  The people in China really dont have any manners.

The train station at Kunming looks like it is brand new and it is very space age looking with its funky metal roof and all.  We headed straight for the ticket office to get our tickets sorted for Dali and then onward from Kunming to Guangzhou on the 25th as we didnt know hard they would be to get our hands on.  Turned out there werent any tickets to Dali the next day, so we had to leave tonight at 10.20pm.  We found a luggage storage place at the train station so that we didnt have to lug our big bags around with us all day and then caught the number 2 bus into the centre of Kunming. 

As i had eaten just a pot noodle in the past 48 hours, we decided it would be a good idea to get some western food inside us, as to not provoke the already protesting guts.  You know what that means, McDonalds again!  Once again, Ackroyd proved he is superhuman by eating a big mac meal, with a McChicken sandwich and double cheesburger on top, before stating that he could easily eat more.  Rejoice - McDonalds here have got proper toilets as opposed to squat toilets.  Just a shame the imodium is still taking full effect and I feel like i am trying to shit out a cow. 

After we left Maccas, we had a quick walk around the town and slipped into a few electronics shops, where i was tempted to spend about 300 quid on a camera lens, but then decided it woudl be a waste on someone with my photographic capabilities.  Kunming, as with Chongqing is a very clean modern city, but it doesnt look like there is much cultural stuff to see or do here, so in a way i am quite happy we are heading for Dali on the train tonight.

To while away a bit more time, we decided to look for an internet cafe, but couldnt find one as we didnt have a clue where we were in the city!!  Luckily, i saw a sign for a Hostel name i remembered called The Hump (wonder why i remembered that one eh?), so we clambered in, only to find that the internet was being used.  Never mind, they had table tennis and pool to keep us occupied for a few hours anyway.  When we first came into the bar area, one of the employees approached us to ask "ckeck in?", only for alex to reply "no thanks, im not hungry!!", much to the amusement of me and Ackroyd.

I was getting an absolute ass whoopin from Ack at table tennis, i think the score was about 20-12 to him, when on match point i went for a really hard smash and actually let go of th bat by mistake, sending it hurtling accross the room and into the pool table!!  It smashed into pieces and sounded as if a gun had been shot and everyone in th place turned and looked at me as if i were an alien as i rolled about laughing (I had to pay about 30p to replace it in th end).  It is just a good job that no-one was playing pool at the time as they could have been decapitated.  At this rather abrupt ending to our table tennis tournament, we decided upon a spot of pool, on the most slanted table in the world, seriously, it was rediculous, and then played cards for a few hours until the internet became free at last.  I went on a huge winning spree playing 'shit head' and won 10 out of 14 games (might have something to do with the fact i was dealing most of the time).

When i finally got on the internet, i checked my e-mails quickly and then looked at the Man Utd scores before glancing over at the screen next to me, a bloke chatting away on MSN messenger.  The first thing i read was, "im sitting next to this fuckign hippie, and worst of all he is English", he was a jock twat.  Then he said "it gets worse, he is a fucking man utd fan".  Im glad i have a long fuse cos i wanted to rip the jock bastard into pieces, but i just calmly left the computer cursing to myself about how much i hate scots.

We got a taxi back to the train station at about 8pm, picked up our bags and got some food in before our train left.  This is where i saw one of the funniest sights of the trip so far....I went into the toilets, to find alex half blocking the door while going for a piss, when i looked over his shoulder, there was a businessman in his suit squatting in the toilet in full view of us!!!  Needless to say, I left in a hurry absolutely wetting myself.

Boarded the train at about 10.20pm and the carriages were super luxury compared to the ones we are used to now, and each compartment only had 4 beds in, which was a welcome bonus. Needless to say, the one Chinese bolke sharing with us snored as per usual, but it didnt affect my sleep to much.

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