Wellington, New Zealand (Aotearoa)
41° 17' S 174° 47' E
Aug 07, 2002 01:59
Distance 305km

Text written in: English

You know you're from Wellington when...

You know you live in Wellington when...

1. You can wake up during an earthquake and think that it's just the wind that's shaking your house.

2. You can say "Wellington is full of ferries" and not be considered homophobic.

3. You can recognise half the city's population when walking down the street.

4. You can afford a $1000 suit but still flat in a house that requires 3 sets of clothing and two dehumidifiers to stay warm.

5. You see someone travelling 100kph on the motorway and you complain how fast people travel these days.

6. You walk from the Railway Station to Willis Street without ever checking for traffic.

7. "Just turn left at the first StarMart, walk down the street till you get to the third StarMart, turn right, go 3 StarMarts up and you're there."

8. Seeing the Brooklyn Wind Turbine not turning is a newsworthy event.

9. It takes you 20 minutes to drive around the block in peak traffic due to the 'one way system'.

10. Boarding a Stagecoach bus is a hazardous activity.

11. You take a bodyguard down Courtenay Place in case you bump into a drunk politician.

12. The centre line is negotiable, especially on the Brooklyn & Hataitai hills where parked cars can take up 80% of the road.

13. You get altitude sickness going from your car to your front door.

14. You have to leave the city to do your shopping.

15. Any wind that doesn't threaten to take your roof off is just a 'bit of a breeze.'

16. You can detect 27 different shades of black suit.

17. When an earthquake hits, instead of hiding under your desk, you hold a bet with your workmates on the force, focus and epicentre.

18. When giving directions to tourists, you point up.

19. You go out for your $5 coffee with friends and complain how expensive Auckland is.

You know when you're from the Hutt?

1. You can wake up thinking it's an earthquake but it's just a subwoofer.

2. You can say "Wellington is full of ferries" because you are homophobic.

3. You can recognise half your city's population in the drink-drive notices.

4. You can't afford a $1000 suit.

5. You see someone travelling 100kph on the motorway and drive right up their backside until you can pass them on the inside (and give them the goat sign salute).

6. You walk from the Railway Station to Willis Street because you can't afford the bus.

7. "Just turn left at the first StarMart, walk down the street till you get to the third StarMart, turn right, go 3 StarMarts and you've bought your family's shopping for the week: 18 pinky bars, 6 meat pies, 47 chuppa chups."

8. Seeing the Brooklyn Wind Turbine is just too freaky.

9. It takes you 20 minutes to drive from Wellington to Masterton.

10. Boarding a Stagecoach bus is too complicated.

11. You take a bodyguard to the supermarket.

12. The centre line is negotiable.

13. You get morning sickness most Mondays.

14. You have to wait til the neighbours are out to do your Christmas shopping.

15. Any wind that doesn't threaten to take your roof off is just another P lab exploding.

16. You can detect 27 different shades of black jeans.

17. When an earthquake hits, instead of hiding under your desk, you hold a bet with the other people in the dole line on the force, focus and epicentre.

8. When giving directions to tourists, you point up and then try and nick their wallet while they're looking up.

19. You go out for your $5 on the pokies and complain how expensive ciggies are.