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Other entries in Bangkok International Airport

Homecoming

I am sitting in Bangkok airport 11 months and 11 countries after leaving the UK, with one very incomplete diary to round off. I thought about writing when I got home, but I do indeed still have my fear of flying and thought it best to leave some kind of memoir behind now!
I can't begin to summarise all the things I've seen and done this year - some of them I've written about, others not for various reasons; they were too personal to relate to the masses, too painful to write about, or just plain embarrassing. I can do all manner of things I couldn't do when I left home - make coconut cream using a potato peeler, use a blowpipe effectively, get a 78% score on the karaoke machine in Thailand, keep up a great poker face, get my clothes white with the help of a rock and not Daz... Actually I think one of my proudest achievements was perfecting the squashing moving mosquitos between palms manouvere.
I even learnt a little bit about medicine - malaria, typhoid, typhus, malnutrition, dengue, scrube typhus, typhoid, malnutrition, TB, HIV, weird and wonderful murmurs and rashes... But then I could have read about most of them in a book. What I couldn't have leant was how I would feel seeing my first severely malnourished baby, having to tell someone they needed an amputation, seeing a 30-year-old die of TB weighing 20kg, knowing what was wrong with someone but not having even the simplest medication to treat it with. Even resisting the amorous advances of patient's relatives was a new experience! I didn't know I was going to have to learn to see 60 patients a day on my own in a little mountain village, get caught up in an epidemic of dengue fever, learn to take histories in many bizarre languages, and a million other things. But somewhere in all of it I found one definite thing; that I made the right career choice. I think those of you that know me well will gasp in disbelief that I have finally decided that being a doctor is the job for me!
I was also priviledged to meet some of the most inspirational people I could ever hope to; Dan, who works 6.5 days a week, 365 days a year, 300 patients a day on his own. The staff at Mae Sot who never had any formal training but are some of the best doctors I've met - they live within the confines of their clinic because they are not allowed to re-enter Burma, not allowed to enter Thailand - I never heard one of them complain about it. Doctors in Cambodia who earn 20 pounds a month but still keep coming into work. Ordinary people too, from families who live with their relatives in the hospital because there are no nurses to the 18-year-olds who would turn up in East Timor saying "I want to help; teach me how". It is always the people with the least that give the most.
But even though I am very said to be coming home, it's impossible to wish to stay here forever because I don't have to walk much further than my front doorstep to find equally wonderful people. Thank you to everyone who encouraged me - you all know who you are! Special thanks to Catherine, who has always replied to my whingeing emails saying "What if everyone forgets me, what if I forget everything, what the hell am I doing out here???" with a good dose of 'get a grip girl' and a lot of understanding. My parents, who I think didn't really have the faintest idea of why I would want to spend even more time at medical school but have always supported me wholeheartedly anyway (Laura looking on in a bemused way at her mad sister). And lastly to Patrick, the best boyfriend anyone could ever have - you'll never know what a difference it made that you were always there to listen.
It's time to come home...

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