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Mumbai, India
18° 58' N 72° 49' E
Sep 09, 2004 09:28
Distance 674km

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Mumbai

Text written in: English

Sleeper train here. Bit worried cos I officially didn't have a ticket for a bed, but luckily the conductor managed to upgrade me ok (apparently tourists get preferential treatment in these circumstances).
Stayed in the Colaba district of South Mumbai. Bit of a backpackers ghetto, but this meant there was a load of western food to tempt me. I cracked in the end and nailed a McDonalds - I was expecting big things from the "Chicken Maharaja Mac" but it was pretty poor like all their other crap!
Its still very much monsoon season here so my umbrella came in handy as I visited all the main sights - mainly temples and museums. The one about Ghandi was the best, although I had big trouble finding it. Speaking to one taxi driver I was saying "Ghandi Museum, you know...Mahatma Ghandi" . He still looks at me blank so I even show him a picture of the guy from my guidebook! Still didn't know who I meant - now c'mon!

Mumbai is home of Bollywood and today I got a piece of the action myself! It was arranged through the hotel that a few of us would be extras on one of the latest blockbusters - "No Entry"!. They like to have a westerners on screen, apparently. So we all head off to the departure terminal of the international airport, which the film company has completely sectioned off. The original plan was for me to just walk across shot pushing a trolley whilst the main actors do their stuff, but they obviously saw my talents were wasted in such a meagre role and so was transfered to another studio set by motorbike. This was in the Film City area of Bombay, and they are in the middle of filming "Line of Control", or "LOC". I had a word with the assistant director who explains its a TV sitcom set in London about Indians and Pakistanis who run a restaurant together. The big joke is that they never get on and have even painted a "line of control" straight through the middle of the building, clever eh!? The set seemed pretty wild and chaotic, but as I've not got anything to compare it with wasn't sure if this was just because its Indian run or the norm for TV. Anyway I get changed into my costume and then hang around...for what seems like hours. Finally a guy comes up to me with a script, and jesus it turns out that I have to say a few lines! I'm playing an English gentleman named Bush (the script writers really are geniuses). With literally two minutes rehearsal I'm thrust in front of the camera to join two of the main stars. There's a big green screen behind us and I can see through monitors they are projecting a street scene ready filmed in London. The scene is me talking to two Pakistani guys who are complaining the Indians has nicked the sofa to their side of the restaurant. Well I have four lines in English to nail, but as most of it is in Hindi and the director's English is bad I haven't a clue what is going on. And even with the required 10 takes I have to say my acting is shocking. I'll cross that off as one of my potential careers, the BAFTAs are safe for another year. Still, in playback the director seems pleased enough. And for all this work I get paid a princely sum of 400 Rupees!
So keep an eye out for LOC on Sky, the shows going to be a big hit I'm sure. I'll be the one wearing the awful fitting beige suit!!