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Bangers and what ????

We escaped the water festival with only our pride dented, walking about like droopy dogs, being victims for all the locals to laugh at.  Suggs made the mistake of wearing his liverpool shirt on the last day, that assured him of a backlash from all the Man.U supporters and locals who were glad to see his shirt.  Alright - Liv-er-pool.

Overnight to Bankok took us 10hrs by bus.  We watched ( i fell asleep ) the worst movie ever, some crazy shoot-em-up set in Canada starring Lucy Lui.  My first impressions of Bankok this morning at 6.00am were its a mess, run down and not the metroplis I had imagined.  Apart form the seedy element at night and rip-off goods, Im not quite sure what we will discover during daylight.  I suppose it is compulsary to get a suit tailor made and a few shirts.  Any invites for weddings ???? Im getting a new suit !!!

We checked into a hotel, got the top floor triple room.  The heat was like a sauna, we had a fan that was blowing warm air and compounding the sweatbox.  Imagine 3 stinky travellers just of a 10hr bus ride sleeping in a small space.  We are up with the pigeons, that got me thinking why I have I never seen a baby pigeon ?? Is there a crazy pigeon fancier out there breeding them and releasing the fully grown ones ??  Where do they sleep ?? Do they really have to cooo-cooo ( or whatever noise the feckers make )so loudly when im trying to sleep?  The heat is driving me nuts.............

Got a haricut. boooooooo. There goes the hippy in me.  What a crazy place.  After a few games of pool in Gullivers on Khao San Rd, we headed to the center of the red light district.  After a few eye openers with the lady boys and the compulsary photo call, we went into a female circus.  The half naked performers ( if thats apt ) were on stage using their genitals to shoot table tennis balls into a glass, open bottles, play a horn, smoke a ciggerate,shoot bananas,  burst balloons with darts and write messages of welcome with marker pens.  It was so bad all we could do was laugh.  The shows are not erotioc, althought they try to spice it up inbetween "acts" are the adverts, four girls ( heffers ) pole dancing.  How these people choose their careers I have no idea, reading through their Cv's would be intertesting though. 

A japaneese gent aged about 60 entered cool as you like with a tewnty someting blonde from Europe, she strutted in like Paris Hilton without the looks.  They were welcomed by overweight naked Thai hookers all sponging drinks.  We sat with the Madame ( Mamazan ), a 48 year old grandmother who told us she had four children and two grandchildren, and ended up having better craic with her listening to her storys.  There is no in your face selling of sex, maybe thats because we were with a copule on honeymoon from home,although they were offered a threesome the previous night.  If you want it, its there,  you can pay the bars 500 bhat bail for a girl then give her 2000bhat for the night.  About 35 quid, thats a lot of food and overnight stays for us, id rather pay for a foot massage and stay in a nice hotel.  We moved hotel to a decent place with air conditioning and a pool on the roof looking over the city.  Thats right we all left without paying any Bail.........

The city has a shopping district that would rival any, if you are femal come here with an empty suitcase.  OK you haver heard it before, if you dont believe me, try it and if you dont fill it with bargins Ill pay for your flight............  Bold statement or what ????? 

More Phad Thai on the street, but it just didnt match Chaing Mai.  South it is to the islands in the Gulf of Thailand.

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