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Other entries in Chang Rai

Slowboat or Speedboat? You decide

The trip from Laos to Thailand was both eventful and awesome. The traveller's dilemma from Luang Prabang to Chiang Mai is Boat or Air. The flush travellers genereally fly with Lao Air despite the foreign office warnings not todue to lack of safety precautions. I spoke to a girl who had flown with them and on the safety card they suggest ripping off the seat cushion to use as a lifejacket in the event of a crash! That said though it does get you there in a mere 90 minutes as opposed to 2 days on a boat.

Being neither flush nor flippant I chose to take the boat. It proved to be a pretty good choice because I met a few legends by the names of Rachel, Erica, Sebastian and Dave. The slowboat took 11 hours to get halfway! 11 hours sat on a wooden bench is a pain you don't want to experience. Numb bum doesn't even come close.

We spent the night in Pak Beng which is a tiny little village which pretty much only exists because of the slow boat. All it consists of is a bunch of guesthouses and restaurants set back from the river and bordered on the other side by dense jungle. It was the sort of place where you wouldn't have been shocked to see a dinosaur's head come out over the trees. A very surreal spot and totally in the middle of nowhere.

It was in Pak Beng though where we explored secret option number 3... Speedboat! It's a method which the lonely planet doesn't recommend beacuse of safety issues and when you look at the boat it's obvious why. To put it simply it's a little wooden boat which someone has attached to a bus engine to and then welded on a propeller! They're incredibly flimsy and if it had flipped i've no doubt it would have sunk with the weight on it.

Regardless we haggled a good price out of the locals and they agreed to take us for $15 each. The slowboat had cost 10 anyway and at least this way we would make it into Thailand the same day and not have to spend a night at the border (which I couldn't afford). It's not that it's expensive there it's just that there is only one ATM in Laos and I was down to my last few dollars.

I had bought a ticket for the slowboat for the second day which needed to be sold for me to afford to get to the border but luckily Rachel stepped up and agreed to take the slowboat as she was in no rush. I sold her my ticket and then went to pay for the speedboat. When I got there i found that she'd given me 1,000 kip rather than the 100,000 kip I needed. Stitch up! I sprinted down the jetty, jumped onto the slowboat before it had the chance to get going and started laying into Rach for stitching me up. I was really annoyed because she's seemed really sound and didn't expect it from her. After about 5 minutes of shouting in front of the other 100 people on the slowboat I reached into my other pocket and pulled out the 100,000 kip she had actually given me earlier! I felt real bad for having such a go at her but after massive apologies I was back to just laughing at myself as I quickly scarpered off the slowboat allowing it to leave.

As we were waiting for the speedboat my rationality was kicking in and I was real adamant about getting a helmet for the journey. When we got on there were only 2 to be shared amongst the 6 of us and when I asked the driver if he had one for me he just laughed and turned back to his engine. Happy Days. I figured I just wouldn't fall in, thus removing the need for protection. Luckily I did have an orange buoyancy aid which made me feel all sorts of safe as we were racing down the mekong at 120km/h.

The speedboat crew consisted of me, Erica, Dave, Sebastian, Michael and Megan and we did the 11hour journey in 2 and a half hours! When we got to the jetty Dave (who was as high as a kite due to the prospect of the thai border) pulled out the stunt of the month. Faced with a 10ft gangplank after bouncing around in a speedboat for a couple of hours was a little worrying I admit, especially with iPod and camera in pocket. Thankfully I made it to the other side undrenched.

Dave wasn't quite so lucky.

Whilst reciting the words, "I'm not gonna make it, I'm rubbish at balancing, I'm not gonna make it!", he didn't make it. He didn't even make one full step! You couldn't write the stuff, it was picture perfect. Cradling his bag as a balancing pole, he put one foot onto the plank and simultaneously fell sideways... straight into the mekong! With his aviators still on and his cigarette still burning in his mouth, he stood there chest deep in the muddy waters flapping big time about his iPod. Fortunately it was buried in his bag and still dry but unfortunately after he was hauled out by a couple of laotians he was still on the wrong side of the water!

At this point I felt slightly guilty but I was bent over double in fits of uncontrollable laughter. If it had been the other way round I would have fully expected to be on the receiving end so I didn't feel too bad. Well at least not bad enough to not pull out my camera to record round 2. By now the Lao guys had no idea what was going on as Dave backed up to the other side of the jetty proclaiming, "I'm gonna run it! It's definitely best if I run it!" Thank god he didn't because that was only going to end in a trip to the hospital. In the end one of the guys stepped up and took his hand to lead him across. Even then he nearly stacked it and pulled the 2 of them in but he successfully made it and crashed down on the other side muddy and exhausted.

2 missions of taxis later I managed to scrape over the border with absolutely no money to my name. Dave and I trekked it 2km (just around the corner) to an ATM and then feeling significantly wealthy we all got on the bus to Chiang Rai where at around 5pm the unthinkable happened. My iPod broke! Whilst playing Skinnyman - Council estate of mind (and I remember it well) it glitched and stopped working. Uh oh! I went through the full reset process a few hundred times trying to resuscitate it but it was no good. Devastated doesn't even come close! It had been my lifeline on the long buses and I felt genuinely lost for the rest of the journey. I even remember that the track was on 0.41 when it stopped, it's been burnt into my memory!

When we got to Chiang Rai Seb's organisational skills came into full effect. He carries around a foldaway bike with him so whilst we sat on our bags he cycled around, found a good hotel and booked 3 rooms for us. Sorted. After that it was off for a good meal where we met up with 3 of Dave's mates: Adam, Danielle and Gary. They were all good guys and we set about taking over the bar next door. It was a cracking night and a long one. After the imposed curfews of Hanoi and Laos it felt amazingly good to be back in hedonistic Thailand. We started off playing pool and listening to the live band but it slowly reverted to the live band accompanying me and Adam singing some classic Bowie! After the adventure of the previous days it was an awesome night to cap it off.

The next day me, Erica, Seb, Michael and Megan headed off to Chiang Mai leaving Dave behind with his mates. We ended up missing 3 buses but got there eventually. It was a shame to leave Dave as he had been such a good laugh and we had got on so well but I promised to catch up with him again in Koh Lanta in a few weeks.